Something weird happens whenever I visit the 100-year-old house I grew up in, where the old ladies live. There’s always a plumbing emergency while I’m here. These things don’t happen at other times, but whenever I visit, pipes seem to burst, that type of stuff. Water seeping through walls. Or, case in point, water gushing through the pavement in our yard.

I wondered if perhaps there’s a significance to these water emergencies, if the old house is trying to tell me something. I even wondered if the house is mad at me for staying away too long. I asked a witch friend and she asked her pendulum. The pendulum said no. The house is not mad at me, and for that I’m glad. I love my house and I like to think that it loves me back.

In fact, upon reading up on the significance of water and plumbing issues, I came to the conclusion that the house is excited that I’m here. Water is flow. Energy. Change. Chi. What I discovered is that when the energy is stale and good chi moves in, there can literally be an overflow. Perhaps the mythical snake that guards the house was slumbering and it woke up when I got here, uncoiled itself and did a little dance, thus shaking the old pipes.

We are expecting expert plumbing help tomorrow.

Meanwhile grandma talks about death and eats chocolate, my old lizard seeks information on cutting edge treatments for her knees (stem cell injections, anyone?), and the feral cat that lives on top of the garage sneaks food scraps to her kittens. Days seem endless here. No wonder the poor snake dozed off. I will try my very best to provide some kind of entertainment.

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