Holly the Boston (aka @biggestdogintheuniverse) has had a rather boring time while I was preparing for my solo show. She decided to vent in a poem. Please excuse her language!
Asparagus for breakfast?
Now that takes the cake.
Da fuq am I?
A rabbit???
I understand my human had a party –
It was big and important
And involved art
(I hate art).
Other dogs were invited
But I was not
(I hate dogs).
It was at the gallery
(Now I kinda do like
The gallery.
It has a cool
Cement floor
And wooden stairs.
I love stairs)
And there were many people
(I like people)
And food
(I love food above all).
So after days of absence and neglect
What does my human bring me?
A tray, a whole tray
Of asparagus wrapped in prosciutto
(I do not disapprove
Of prosciutto.
It’s related to bacon).
And then this morning,
When she finally cracks open
The magical plastic
It’s all wrapped in
What does the foolish creature do?
She unwraps the asparagus
And slips
The salty pork goodness
Into her own mouth.
What do I get?
Asparagus!
Da fuq?!?
I mean I ate it, but…
Then she proceeded to tell me
Prosciutto is too salty
For dogs.
And that she’s out of dog food
But will go out and buy some
After coffee.
(Everyone knows coffee takes forever!)
“Here, Boo Boo,
Have more asparagus!
And how about some pineapple?”
Good thing I love that bitch.
