Today John came by for coffee. He wore all white and brought me a sandwich. He got on the bed in his room with the AC blasting arctic temperatures and curled up into a ball and pretended to be a baby. I sat in the other room with the AC set to a more normal level and ate half the sandwich. It was a fun visit. I even wore cute shoes.
I know we are weirdos and I love it.
Later I made a big pot of lentil soup, most of which I’ll take with me to Galveston. I’m also taking lots of fresh veggies and some other essentials, because I don’t want to go to the store. But I fully intend to wear my mask to the fish market and buy fresh shrimp. And maybe a Red Snapper.
The rest of the day I read and I rested. At some point I read on Facebook that school starts again at Lamar tomorrow and that professors are not allowed to require masks in the classroom. And I realized that three years ago, when I quit my pretty fabulous tenured job, I made the right choice.
I’ve been thinking a lot about that decision lately, especially since that year too I went to Galveston for a few days in August and during my time there I got depressed thinking that school was about to start and that I really really really didn’t want to go back. As I was planning my Island escape this year, I couldn’t help but think about that trip three years ago and wondering if maybe my decision – five years in the making – had perhaps been rash.
But then I forget that had I stayed at that job, life would not have gone on like I knew it. Last year I would have loathed teaching online because that’s just not something I ever wanted to do, and this year I would have to either quit or go into classrooms with unmasked students.
Instead, here I am, running my business that still has its challenges, but is steadily growing. August has been a good month, and now I’m even able to take a week off and rest, soak up inspiration and salt air, stay in a beautiful old house, and take long walks on the beach with my friend and my dog.
So onward and upward. And perhaps I need to trust my inner compass more and stop questioning my choices. Sometimes when you romanticize things from the past you fail to account for the fact that you don’t remember them accurately, and that even if you did, things never stay the same, they’re constantly changing and evolving and what you left is no longer there.
I really hope all the students and teachers will be safe. I don’t mean to seem unsentimental or give the impression I care just for myself. I called a former colleague tonight and I actually cried while we were talking about this, but I am grateful I don’t have to go back to school.