Holly’s Christmas poem:
My human took me to a nice hotel
So I could hunt for monkeys.
But the monkeys were fake –
Painted on the walls.
My human is obviously not very smart.
Good thing she’s cute.
Still, the hotel was nice.
It had a big bed overlooking the sea
And a nice lady
Who gave me bacon
Fried fresh just for me.
There was also Santa in the lobby.
I refused to sit on his lap.
He asked if I bite.
Rude. But I like it
When people are scared of me.
On the beach there were screaming birds.
There was sand mixed with pelican poop
And salt.
It more than made up
For the fake monkeys.
Though I do hope
To see real monkeys some day.
I heard they throw feces –
Which sounds fucking awesome.
Feces are the best!
