Today I drew sea turtles. It was a weird kind of day, rainy and damp but not cold. I finally got the oil changed in my car. I also experienced a series of small inconveniences – locking myself out of my apartment, buying the wrong product at the store, getting stuck waiting for a very slow train to pass – but managed somehow to keep my chin up and stay positive. I even took a short walk in the park, and the writing I did tonight I’m pretty sure is good. I also started hearing from people who received the Washington DC paintings I mailed and are happy with them. This is very rewarding, and a good reminder of why I’m doing this. It’s strange, my life still hasn’t found a rhythm I’m comfortable with, and I feel lonely and a bit frazzled, but every now and then there are reminders that I’m on the right path and that I must keep forging ahead. Sometimes I think my imagination will save me from anything – loneliness, boredom, sadness – other times I’m afraid it’s leading me to construct this unrealistic world in which all my dreams can come true, only to find out later I’ve been deluding myself. Then again, such fears are what holds me back, and I need to teach myself to outgrow them.
As to the sea turtles, I have a plan, and it’s something extraordinary and wonderful. I’ve always wanted to do something for them, and I’ve finally figured out how. Stay tuned, and hopefully I’ll get to report soon on some happy sea turtle developments.
